Keep Going

There are moments in our life where we feel like we are stuck at a crossroads. We are just done with what we are trying to do and about ready to give up. We just want to cry and shut out the world and leave everything behind we have been working for, fighting for, and all that we have loved. We say that those answered prayers were jsut ourself and we can't actually accomplish the things that we desire that we have had spiritual confirmation that we need to do.

You Can.

My experience? Missions are hard. There is nothing glamourous about what we do. Missionaries are rejected every day. We are ridiculed and put down on a regular basis. You can get to a point where you feel lonelier than you ever have. There are even times that we want to give up. Can we? Yes. Should we? Absolutely not.

This struggle has taught me so much. I am grateful for my trials and grateful for the struggles because they have changed my nature and who I am for the better. But I will admit... I have wanted to give up many a time.

The decision to serve was an answer to two years of prayers and seeking out what I needed to do after high school. It was spiritual illumination that came at a perfect time. It is something I knew I needed to do and would not turn back from doing ever. I would not undo all the hurt and rejection, because with that, I have expereinced a new found feeling of pure joy and gratitude for what my Savior did. 

How have I handled this?

In the Provo Missionary Training Center, I was given a quote on day two that has reminded me on multiple occasions that I need to keep going. It is from Elder Jeffery R. Holland. He said:

With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, 

but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 

“Cast not away therefore your confidence.” 

Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

(Ensign Mar. 2000, Cast Not Therefore Away Your Confindence [emphasis added])

There you have it. Don't give up on what you have prayed for and know to be right. Opposition and trials and trouble will occur, but know that it is preparing you fro something greater. All that happens is for your own good, just as I know my trials and struggles have been for mine. Learn from it and grow from it. A trial is not wasted when you learn something from it.

I promise that as you endure and continue on the path your Father in Heaven intends for you, you will feel of His everlasting love for you and know He is God and He is there. 

I love you all!
Love,

Sister Mackenzie Esmond